I Am Not Kevin Bacon.

Kevin Bacon has a book contract. His color photo on the flap shows the great seriousness with which he regards his subject matter. He is thinking and the things he is thinking are things that have been thought before. To show the depth of his human kindness, he has done the Venus Hottentot the favor of criticizing the manner in which her handlers treated her like an animal by putting her in a story about elephants, it is terrible what they did to that poor elephant. If you squint into the distance of his color author photo you can see his apartment, the meticulously alphabetized DVD collection which he logged as tax deductible business expenses. Notice how all of Orson Wells' films are filed under W in ascending order by original release date, documentaries at the end. He has learned everything about Jackson Pollock from Pollock and Glenn Gould from 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould. He hates music, truth be told, abstractions do not appeal to him. Although he is writing a book about Mozart based on Amadeus, in which he refers to Mozart by the name Val Kilmer. Nobody will know whether his mistakes were made on purpose, a comment perhaps on how films are not really real, according to some theories that postulate a world superceding cinema. When Kevin Bacon transcribes familiar, if not overworked, scenes from classic movies into what is here being marketed as fiction, he refers to the characters in the film usually but not always by the name of the actor or actress portraying them. This is a technique that draws attention to the fact that characters in films are often portrayed by actors and actresses, who often have appeared in different films usually playing different characters. This is not a phenomenon one would find, for example, if one didn't watch lots and lots of movies. Which I think says something interesting about film. The part of Jackson Pollock is being played by astronaut John Glenn. He hates car trouble, he gets his engine checked regularly. The person in the photo. Who is being played by Kevin Bacon. Who is writing a screenplay for a film about Alice B. Toklas to be produced by Oliver Stone: Oliver Stone's Stein. He has a collection of elephant videos. When Kevin Bacon dies his genitals will be preserved in a jar and displayed in the New York Public Library. He knows that in order to write he need only put one word after another. Like so.